I took my first dose of Methotrexate last Friday night.  I woke up Saturday with a dull headache and some nausea.  I went to a mom’s night out and had a blast.  Rookie move.  I woke up Sunday and felt like a mack truck ran over me, backed up and ran over me again!

Monday morning brought a new sense of hope and a nice boost of energy.  I found myself walking around my classroom more. I went up and down our front steps like an adult instead of a shaky, unsure toddler learning how to navigate stairs.  I came home and remained in my clothes instead of immediately changing into my favorite pair of sweats and a hoodie.  I got my eyebrows waxed.  I went out after being home! I made dinner. I slept without taking a sleeping aid. Today, I’m tired.

Since I need to remain hydrated while on Methotrexate, I have increased my water intake.  This has me running to the bathroom every 15 minutes. (Sorry Leddy!) However, I think the Prednisone is holding onto some of it. I’ve noticed that my face is puffy and I’m feeling more bloated than usual. Fingers crossed that this changes soon, as I’m beginning to feel like Violet Beauregarde. 

Now onto a more important topic.  Mom’s…I’m freaking the fuck out about Christmas! I have a few things for the girl kid, but nothing at all yet for the boy. He wants BIG things now.  I so want to be like the moms in Bad Moms. I want to relax this holiday season, but the micromanager in me won’t allow it. She’s tightened her grasp on my anxiety, and is holding on like her existence depends on it. In the back of my mind, I’m planning a first communion party and a summer vacation, crunching numbers and debating on selling a kidney while they both still work!

Why can’t I just not worry? The more stressed I get, the more my joints ache.  I have tried meditating, yoga, chamomile tea, CBD oil and nothing is helping me to relax and live in the moment. HELP ME!!!!!

The saga continues.