The new doctor turned out to be a lot more thorough than I would ever have expected. I initially thought that being seen almost 2 hours late was going to be a bad thing. She takes her time!

I also thought that copious amounts of blood work and 66 x-rays were excessive. However, the blood work ruled out lupus and the X-rays found an abnormality on my spine. I was then sent for an MRI to rule out cancer. It was a LONG week of waiting for the results. When you’re faced with a potential cancer diagnosis, your mind never shuts off but ironically you tend to walk through the days brainless.

We had just left my son’s 1st basketball game of the season and the team and Jake did awesome. I was happy. Then my doctor called as I was in the checkout line at Stop and Shop. I left my salad bar stuff and my family to go outside and hear the news. Thankfully she began the conversation with, “Colleen, you don’t have cancer. But you do have A LOT of things going on.” She proceeded to list more things than I can remember. After each diagnosis, she said, “and…” I don’t know if my ears stopped hearing or my brain stopped processing. I was so relieved that I didn’t have cancer, but now what. How do I even start to deal with everything she was saying.

“3 herniated discs, a slipped disc, fluid in a couple of vertebrae (inflammatory arthritis and some osteoarthritis) significant degenerative disc disease, two pinched nerves and some spinal stenosis. They also found a 6cm cyst on your ovary. We’ll talk Monday about where we go from here, but I’d like to start with some steroid injections in your spine.”

Umm…okay, thank you. It was all I could muster. I sat in the truck looking out at the street lights and just cried.

What. The. Fuck?!?

How am I mobile?

Is all of this on top of the inflammatory arthritis and fibromyalgia diagnoses?

Do I still need to inject methotrexate into myself as well.

Am I going to be able to exercise ever again?

Am I going to end up in a wheelchair?

I do not want to burden my family. I do not want to never be able to exercise and feel healthy again. I do not want surgery. I don’t want to have to keep relying on other people.

So here we are. I have a lot of questions and concerns. I know that I need to be patient with both my doctor and myself as we maneuver through this information and develop a treatment plan.

I am thankful for my new doctor and her persistence to find out what is causing my pain and swelling. I am thankful for my family, friends and bosses for being more than supportive. Thank you for your positive thoughts, prayers, texts, and phone calls. I am slowly making my way back into the land of the living.