A lot has happened this past week, well this past summer.  Most of the “eventful things” have been large and expensive.  As appliances and more continue to break and require more and more money that we just don’t have, so did I. I was breaking.  My 5-year-old son told me, “Ma, you always look sad, even when you laugh.” That’s heartbreaking.  My heart literally felt bruised.  I don’t want to look or feel sad anymore.  So today….I went under!

After cleaning our pool out (our still leaking pool,) I decided that I’d stay in and play for a while, even though I told my darlings that I really didn’t feel like swimming today.  My son jumped in and splashed me and immediately began apologizing for getting my face and hair wet. I casually replied, “it’s no big deal bud, it’s just water.”  Well you would have thought that Santa Claus himself had landed his 8 reindeer-ed sleigh on our back deck.  He looked at me with utter disbelief, shook his head a little, and proceeded to swim to the ladder so he could jump in again.  Feeling a little brave, he then said to me, “Ma it’s too bad you don’t like going underwater.”  Again, my answer stunned him.  “I actually love going under the water.  I used to swim every day.”  Braver still, he whipped his goggles off, tossed them at me, and said, “here use these so your contacts don’t float away.” So I did.  I put the goggles on and explored  around under the water till my little heart was content.  The smile on his face fixed my bruised heart.

With less than 2 weeks vacation time left, this is usually the time of the summer when I cry non-stop, and become totally jealous of all the moms that can afford to stay-at-home.  (I know people always say, well if you make sacrifices, and cut back, then you could stay home too.  Let me tell you, that’s not the case here.  If I didn’t work, we’d be sacrificing our home, we’d be homeless.  So before you ever utter those words to a working mother, think before you open your big, stupid, disillusioned mouth.)  This summer, I’m sad and optimistic.  My son will be starting full-day kindergarten.  He loved school last year, and I’m looking forward to him being able to play and interact  with kids his own age, while learning new things.  My daughter loves her daycare provider and the kids there.  I love that she’s able to play and learn with her friends.  There have been pretty big changes at my work, and though this year is going to be different and challenging, I’m looking forward to new opportunities. I know the kids and  I would much rather be home together, but like I said before, we need my income, and both of my kids love their “schools” and playing with their friends.  So, I’m hoping for way less tears this first day back to school.

Oh, I lost the two pounds that I had gained during my weekend of reckless abandonment. I’m pretty much stuck in a holding pattern (See Cindy Fitzgibbon, I do listen!) I keep losing and gaining the same 8 pounds.  I know that once back to work, the pace of my day will be a lot faster.  I’m thinking of buying a fitbit. (Look it up!    http://www.fitbit.com)

September is PCOS awareness month.  I’ll be posting Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome related facts throughout the month. It’s not one of those fake “this is blah blah blah awareness week/month Facebook posts.” How can one disease/issue have so many different awareness times of the year?  It’s annoying!

September is the official awareness month for PCOS all around the world.